Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire

Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire is a 1987 British musical film starring Phil Daniels and Alun Armstrong. The film was directed by Alan Clarke and written by Trevor Preston. The BFI has described it as "undoubtedly the only vampire snooker musical in cinema history".

Plot
Billy the Kid is a young, up-and-coming snooker player. His manager, T.O. (The One), a compulsive gambler, falls into debt with psychopathic loanshark the Wednesday Man, who offers to cancel T.O's debt if he can arrange a 17-frame grudge snooker match between Billy and the reigning world champion Maxwell Randall (popularly known as the Green Baize Vampire).

To ensure that both players will agree to the match, T.O hires a journalist, Miss Sullivan, to stir up trouble between them. She interviews Billy and the Vampire separately, asks them leading questions intended to elicit angry responses and provoke enmity, then prints the results. The match is set.

Unknown to T.O., the Wednesday Man has hidden motives regarding the match. The sinister loanshark has engineered a clause in the game's legal documentation to the effect that the loser will agree to never play professional snooker again. Though the Vampire is close to retirement, Billy is young, and such a clause—if he loses—would greatly disadvantage him. T.O. only agrees when the Wednesday Man suggests that the Vampire will "not be at his best"; a clear insinuation that he will be bribed, or threatened. It is only later that T.O. discovers that this is a lie and that the Wednesday Man is plotting with the Vampire, hates both him and Billy, and wishes to see them suffer.

The match goes very badly for Billy, but when T.O. finally confesses, during a break, of his underhand dealings with the Wednesday Man (and the Vampire himself) he manages to pull himself together and eventually win the match.

Cast

 * Phil Daniels as Billy the Kid (snooker player)
 * Bruce Payne as T.O. ('The One', Billy's manager)
 * Richard Ridings as Egypt (Billy's minder)
 * Alun Armstrong as Maxwell Randall (the Vampire)
 * Don Henderson as The Wednesday Man (loanshark)
 * Louise Gold as Miss Sullivan (reporter)
 * Zoot Money as Supersonic Sam (cafe owner)
 * Eve Ferret as Mrs Randall (the Vampire's wife)
 * Neil McCaul as Big Jack Jay (Snooker compere)
 * Johnny Dennis as Referee
 * Kevin Lloyd as unnamed part
 * Caroline Quentin as unnamed part

Songs

 * "Green Stamps" – sung by Billy
 * "Poker Song" – T.O.
 * "Supersonic Sam's Cosmic Cafe" – Billy and the Cafe denizens
 * "I Bite Back" – the Vampire
 * "I'm the One" – T.O.
 * "BtKatGBV (Practice Practice Practice)" – Miss Sullivan
 * "Snooker (So Much More Than Just a Game)" – Big Jack Jay
 * "Kid to Break" – Billy and the cast
 * "Quack Quack" – the match crowd
 * "It's the Fame Game" – Billy and the cast
 * "White Lines Black Cadillac" – T.O.